We went to our second Bowen clinic visit on Saturday, which would not be complete without some episode of sickness. Adam honoured that requirement and duly had a fever Saturday morning that we couldn't figure out. I have to say though that when he climbed up in my lap and snuggled there for 20 minutes I was grateful for the fever. It was wonderful!! He perked up after a while, and we had a nice session with the therapist. I gave her instructions on what needs to address--after the last session Adam's nose cleared up, so I'm ready to expect and see some results in his hearing, bowels, brain, etc! We're still waiting on that though...
Yesterday we went swimming, which is our usual Sunday outlet. However, we had a surprise when we were all having a snack after the session. I had forgotten a nappy for Adam and just put him in his jeans--then forgot that he didn't have a nappy on (do you see a trend too?) We were all sitting and chatting, watching Adam and Caleb having fun and jumping up on a table and then down when all of a sudden Adam says "pee pee, pee pee" and I realise he's had an accident. Now 'says' is italicised because for Adam to connect what he's just done with a word that he's learned and then say it is huge. And it's not too far a leap from that to connecting what he needs to do with a word and saying it. Big encouragement indeed.
Last night we watched "A Beautiful Mind" to unwind--which I found odd after we watched it as it's a real tear-jerker. Not to mention that Brian suggested it at 8:30pm which is usually after our bedtime! I sobbed my way through most of it, as it is such a beautiful story of a woman who has accepted her husband's disability by accepting and staying with him. Several times in the movie I found myself thinking that I would have left him, but she stays. This is even more stark if I reflect on the fact that we "can" leave a spouse, and even our own child, but how much more powerful it is if we stay with them, see them through the disability even at the complete and utter loss of our own expectations. That's really what is at stake, I think--our expectations. If I was expecting a "perfect" child when Adam was born then I would have been disappointed. And if I see living in a world with him as painful then I will be disappointed. But if, as in this movie--completely devoid of spiritual or religious meaning--I stay with the people I've been given through all the various pieces of their life, living the pain and loss with them, then out of that is borne the ultimate meaning of love. This, as John Nash says as he received the Nobel Prize, is the heart and soul of logic and reasoning.
I think I might cry again.