the Tree of Life

Brian and I went and saw "Tree of Life" today...it was absolutely the most perfect and most awful movie ever to watch if your child is in the hospital on chemotherapy, and you are waiting to hear if they are in remission or not. We needed to escape while we waited, though had I known what the movie was about I might never have left the hospital at all! I don't have the energy to summarise here, but you can look it up yourself, or better yet, go see it and see what you think.

As it turns out, the doctor called halfway through and said the test had been inconclusive and they need to repeat it tomorrow morning. But having grappled with the whole of the last month--the last eight years, really--during the two and a half hours of Mallick's vision, somehow I feel more peaceful to wait. One of the quotes I liked best from the movie is this:

"The nuns taught us there were two ways through life - the way of nature and the way of grace. You have to choose which one you'll follow."

This from a mother who loses her son in the movie (I know, I said it was awful!!) Can I wait in grace? Can I love in grace? Can I care for a sick and disabled son in grace? Can I love two other children in the midst of sadness in grace? Can I take it all--the good and the awful--and be grateful, be humble in the face of the Creator who made the world and loves me? I think most days I am still trying to choose which way to follow, but this was a beautiful and stunning encouragement to choose the way of Grace, from Hollywood no less. Thank you Terence Mallick.