First day of school

For those who have been following the blog, a little bit of sunshine for once!

Yesterday was Caleb's first day of school, and he looked so handsome in his uniform! Adam too had a joyous return to school this week, another handsome uniform and some beaming smiles to go with it! No matter what happens, it was worth it to see his face when I did the "school" sign.

He is doing really well, and today went to school after his lumbar puncture this morning. Another sign our life has changed: becoming blase about general anaesthesia ("it's only a lumbar puncture today")! The port they put in last week is working beautifully, and healing well. The doctor even said that he can go swimming after the needle comes out! Tomorrow is two doses of chemo after school then a week off. We are so grateful for some normal in our lives, almost don't know what to do with it!!

Agnes is settling in too, learning to sleep better and definitely keen on the whole eating thing!

Here is a pic of the boys, one blond and one fuzzy, both blinded by a sudden patch of light:

Goodbye to nursery...

Amidst all the stress, worry and sleeplessness of the last two weeks we've also had a major milestone: Caleb has now officially finished nursery!

I attended his leaving tea party on Thursday morning and was so proud to see Caleb singing the "Goodbye to nursery" song with the other kids. I was also amazed (and a little bit proud!) to see him towering over the others--that boy is tall!

It's been a good five years and I've enjoyed seeing Caleb mature into a child who is keen to ask lots of questions, ready to learn and able to absorb lots of information and new experiences. We went today to visit his new school, St Peter's Catholic School, and meet his teachers, and he was very excited to see it and begin to get to know the place where he'll spend the next seven years of his life. We are pleased with the school and staff and anticipate lots of happy memories will be created during his time there.

Here is a video of Caleb and his friends singing their song, and above is a picture of him holding his sister. He is a sweet boy, and I look forward to seeing who he will become in this next stage of his life.

The 5 week blur

I can't believe it's been five weeks since Agnes was born!! The time goes so fast, and of course I think I'll be able to sit down and write little bits for the blog here and there, but that would require a minute to actually sit and write!

The long and short of it is that things are good. Little Agnes is growing well and quickly, filling out her first baby sleepers and developing those soft little rolls around the face and neck that everyone loves to pinch. She has a bit of newborn acne, and we have figured out (mercifully quickly this time, compared to Caleb) that she is sensitive to dairy products that I eat and drink, so I'm trying to avoid dairy and help her little gut not to be so gassy (and our nights not to be so short!)

Also in the last five weeks...Adam finished at Mile End and will start at Woodlands, his new special needs school, after the holidays (one more week). He has had two mornings there and is already showing that it's a much better environment for him. He's coming on in using signs and communicating, and starting to show a pretty strong independent streak! We're still grateful for Mr Tumble, and of course all the sunny weather to spend hours at the park.

We've also had a visit from the Chicken Pox fairy for Caleb, though his case only lasted a week. Adam started showing his spots tonight, not 5 hours after my parents left for home of course! It seems to be pretty mild so far, so we're hopeful for a quick recovery as well.

My parents left to go home this afternoon, and while I'm so thankful for all their help to our family for five weeks, I know it's the right time for us to begin learning how to live as a five-some and do it ourselves. The first afternoon and evening were ok, so here's to a few more of those! Of course if you don't hear from me for a while you will know why! :)

Another end, another beginning

This is it, the last day of summer holidays. What a full and fun summer we have had--it almost seems too quick that the boys are starting school and nursery again tomorrow, the end of the lazy days routine and beginning of discipline, school uniforms, packed lunches and book bags. And yet it is time, as Adam has been bouncing around like a wild man for the last two days, creating all sorts of trouble (but don't tell his teachers!!) He's starting Primary 3, and time will tell if it's a good fit or not, but I know without a doubt that he'll be so glad to see the taxi in the morning and his teachers' smiling faces in the classroom. Oh, how I wish he could tell me about it with his own words when he gets home! Maybe some day...at any rate, it's a good job we're through with jet lag and back to normal, as Adam's taxi is coming at 8:15am!! I had a dream last night that the taxi came and his bag wasn't packed yet, so I made sure to do that this evening. We're ready--bring it on!

By the way...I seem to be comfortable with telling more people now--and word gets around quickly in these parts--so it seems safe to write it out here: We are expecting our third child in March! If you have seen me in the last few weeks it might not have been difficult to surmise--the green look on my face, sitting down every five seconds (me who usually runs around all day!), refusing to even smell food at most meals..."morning" sickness is a total joke: this has been 24/7 sickness for sure! This kid (a girl by everyone's reckoning, but we'll see in 6 months) has got me beat, but I am often and gently reminded that this is a blessing and we are indeed very excited. I have unfortunately lost enough weight in these last few weeks that having a huge bump seems a distant possibility, but I am ever hopeful and there are many weeks left (29 to be exact!)

We'll be sure to keep you posted!

Summer: Week One

The week is finally over. I don't say this to mean that it's been a drag, just that it seemed much slower than any other week I've had this year. I don't know exactly why that is, except to surmise that maybe I take a while to acclimatise to the slower pace of being fully with kids. I'm used to having a little break now and then to do my own things, which surely speeds up the pace. Then again, I had an afternoon off last Wednesday, generously donated by my husband, and it seemed to drag too. Not sure why...we have lots of fun things to do, and we've had great weather by and large. Maybe it's that summer vacation looming up in only nine days that has my head in the clouds? Or maybe it's some other exciting things on the horizon, even farther away? Probably that and the fact that I can't do anything toward them because, again, I'm with the kids! Oh well, that is the point of these seasons, isn't it--the relaxing into what is and not what can't be right now. I really am praying that I will settle down soon and enjoy these moments fully because they really are fleeting, despite what it seems.

This week we have had some firsts and lots of completely normal. We've been to at least seven different parks, 10 hours pushing boys on swings (slight exaggeration), 4 hours spent indoors because we'd had too much sun (major exaggeration!), one really nice walk, a couple of fun play sessions with friends, a tiny bit of extremely uncomfortable shopping, and some good solid nights of sleep at the end of it all.

Among the firsts to note were Adam eating raisins, which I have already mentioned. Another was Adam beginning to show interest in riding the push-bike he got for Christmas. We also had our school sessions in the mornings, where usually Caleb would draw a picture and do some letters to go with it while Adam worked on the letter A. No major progress yet, except that he will sit at the table for 15 minutes and work with me (and throw the crayon at my hand, and on the floor. And oh yes, he's strapped in to his chair too, but that doesn't really count as cheating)

Next week brings the first sports club Adam will go to on his own every afternoon from 1-3pm, and Caleb's first playdate away from us all day with his friend from nursery. I bet you can't guess who is excited that these two sessions happen to overlap for an hour and a half on Monday? :)

Here's enjoying slow days...

Surprises

This morning I got a huge surprise when I was getting the boys ready for school. I was helping Adam get dressed, and Caleb, as usual, was delaying the process by wanting to play hide-and-seek: "You count and I'll hide, mom," as he flops down in his bed and pulls the covers over his head. I dutifully started to count, "One..." admittedly in a bit of a monotone as this is a very common game, when all of a sudden Adam's eyes lit up. "Two, three, four, five. Yeah!" He was clearly counting with me, and seemed quite proud of himself when he got to five, clapping and smiling. It was amazing, and very humbling, as I had no idea he could do that. We have been counting all afternoon too, and he really seems to enjoy it.

If you heard any of the words on their own you wouldn't know what he was saying, but his inflection, and the fact that he stayed with my timing too, showed that he knew what we were saying. Needless to say this gives me a lot of hope. It makes me think of his summer school teacher in Durham, Ms Jen, who very emphatically said to me that Adam is capable of learning a lot, and should not be underestimated. How right she was to say that.

This of course comes on the same day that we got a letter home from school saying that Adam would be moved up to Primary 3 after the summer. That's a jump from Primary 1 to Primary 3 for those who aren't up to speed, i.e. going from first to third grade. This is apparently a city council policy that children should be grouped according to their age category. This is also entirely ridiculous and will be fought by me every step of the way. There was a reason I held Adam back, besides the fact that we went to the states for a year. He was not ready, and still is quite developmentally delayed. They are already having "trouble" with him in his current year, so I don't see how moving him two years up will help matters. I'm not sure how to go about it, but believe me, if the boxing gloves have to get dusted off (they never seem to acquire much dust anyway!) they will.

Following on from yesterday's tests, there is nothing new to add. Bit of dried blood in his ear canals still, but otherwise you wouldn't know he had anything done yesterday at all. I still find his hearing a puzzle, but we've learned enough in nearly seven years not to take the doctors too seriously, and to take seriously instead that Adam is thriving (counting even!)

One more little surprise, albeit a few days old: Adam has his first adult tooth coming through!! It's a bit of a snaggle tooth already, poking up from behind all of his four bottom middle teeth that are ground down to the gum and still very firmly rooted in place. I tried to get him registered with a dentist, but the one I called specialises in cosmetic dentistry. Maybe something to think about for the future, but obviously not the right call just now. Will have to wait, hopefully not a year, for an NHS dentist instead.

That's all for now...time to read and enjoy the evening sunshine (for another 2 hours!) (and it's quarter past 9pm!)

oil and water

You know what happens when you mix oil and water together? If you whisk it really hard it goes all smooth, and then like three seconds later it's separate again.

That's a bit how I feel about Adam's "new" school, which is actually a special needs school and a mainstream school merged together. I really enjoy the Headteacher, and the parents I've met so far, and deeply love the kids, but it's still oil and water. This is a tough mixture to get right. It's also tough to stay clear and focused when you feel your child's needs are on the line.

I wrote this little blurb to someone on email tonight, and I want to put it here for a couple of reasons:

"We are having an inane discussion about jogging trousers, of all things. Some of the ASN kids can't manage buttons or zips, and/or have frequent accidents, and so need to wear jogging trousers. Now that they are merged, they have to abide by the "standard" uniform, which does not include jogging trousers. I asked why the standard uniform is not jogging trousers to begin with. That would put all the kids on equal footing and not single anyone out. Because, as one parent put it: "they don't look smart." Exactly, I said to her. The ASN kids don't look smart is the underlying belief, and we are not about to be brought down by them. I find this kind of discussion exciting and worth having, whether in the church or the school system."

First, this is an example of what is happening under the surface in any merge: it is rarely two equal groups blending together equally. It is often one larger group allowing/absorbing another smaller (not necessarily in size) group into itself. I understand this, and yet to pretend that kids with special needs are automatically included or on similar footing just because you say it is absurd. Disability is absolutely opposed to the way our society is set up. It brings people down, to be honest, and nobody wants to be brought down. I'm not being ugly: when our society is set up for people who have motor-neural difficulties, and problems communicating, and behavioural issues, and low muscle tone, etc., and the rest of the population has to fit into THAT mold, then we're talking.

Second, I want to be reminded of what my idols are. More specifically: I can easily get caught up "advocating" for Adam in quite good ways, and they become my identity. At the end of the day this is God's story, and Adam is very much a part of it, in all that he is and is not. I can raise my fist and proclaim the "truth" as much as I want, but, as St Paul reminds me, if I do not have love it is all in vain.

If God has called me to be a whisk, then so be it. But may I have the grace to love everyone I am "whisking" and resist the temptation to thump my fist. For in doing so I drown out His voice.